July 7, 2013

I've never understood how people enjoy eating so much. I don't ever remember actually liking to eat things. Eating for me has always felt like a chore, like something I just had to do, like going to the bathroom or showering or brushing my teeth. The process itself is kind of repulsive, when I watch people do it, or think about how it happens. When I watch people chew bowls of oil, plants, and animal meat into a mush and swallow it into their bodies. When I see bowls of food and imagine it all mixed up and slushing around in our stomachs. People think that because I'm skinny and don't usually eat in front of people that it's because I don't eat a lot, but I actually eat just as much as normal people at home, because my mom feeds me as much as she can. I'm not sure why I'm so skinny though, food seems to just pass right through me. I actually have no problem with eating, I just don't like eating a lot at once. Instead of three big meals a day, I would prefer if it were split up further, like six smaller meals or something. I worry myself sometimes though, because I can go a whole day without eating, and when I'm off living by myself I might just forget to eat sometimes and that would be pretty unhealthy.