August 16, 2013

Why do people pretend to be what they're not? I feel really strongly about this but, as with most of the things I think and feel, I can't really find the words to explain it. People, at their cores, are so fake it's pretty astonishing. The things we do to fit in, to get attention, to look "righteous", to fulfill our self-images... I am a pretty quiet guy most of the time, so I have plenty of time to observe the ways people act, and people are so predictable in their actions and lies. I guess it works out though, because as with everything, the majority decides what is "normal" and "right", and it is the majority who decides who is "insane" or "delusional". Sometimes I worry that by the definitions created by the common people I really am just a crazy kid. I really just wish I could think normally, and be a normal person, because this shit is really getting hard to deal with. Dying is obviously the easy way out, but anyone who knows me well enough would know I could never take that way, mainly because I wouldn't have the balls to do it. But even if I did, hey, I have an eternity to be dead, why should I be in such a rush. Maybe a miracle will happen, who knows. And if not, life has got to be more interesting then being dead right. Even the one I'm living now will look pretty fun compared to being dead and rotting in the ground for an eternity, so I guess I should just be grateful for what I've got.